Are you one of us?

December 18, 2009

I survived

As the year comes to an end, I had this mixed emotions. Happy, and still on the process of absorbing things that I guess happened too fast, too fast maybe because I give so much time to something that I tend to forget that life just don't revolve in a particular challenge, if there are challenges there are too many blessings. Life has a lot of surprises. It has a lot of twist.

But I guess, what I could really not forget are those things that help me defined as a person. I had been subjected to baseless judgement, which I guess everyone had been through. At some point the image that I had tried to protect was somehow tainted because of nasty rumors. But everything happens for a reason. I had learned to define myself well and composed according to the standard of being refined individual person. I was also subjected to character assasination. It work somehow. It get me distracted but luckily I won over it. I had developed my sense of focus and I had believed in myself this time that I never imagined before. I had a very low self esteem but because of what had happened I am now a person who overcome my weaknesses.

This year, I had determine my weakness. Thankful to the workshops I had attended and thankful to the brothers and sisters in my christian community for I had learned too much from each of them. Because of them I honestly and fully understand myself as a unique person. Weak and vulnerable. As they say, it requires courage before a person would finally acknowledge he is weak and imperfect. As Fr. Adlai says, you will never correct your wrongdoings if you don't have the humility to accept that you are wrong. Admission is a plays an important role.It all starts in here. As I had accepted and determine my weakness, I had done my best to overcome most if not all of it. I had overcome those because I admit to myself that I am weak, imperfect and vulnerable.

And I guess the best thing I learned this year is, despite all the bad things happened in my life, there is so many blessing that I should be thankful about. Those bad things were just spices in my challenging life. It helps me entertained, otherwise I get bored. All things happened had contributed a great plot in my life story. My life had lots of twists. Many unexpected things happened that makes my life more interesting, its a no boring life story. Maybe ten years from now and reading this entry, it will make me cry, cry in appreciation that God was so good to me despite of my imperfection. He is the Loving God that had never ask conditions for him to love and showered me with his enormous blessings.

for all the good and bad things happened, blessings and challenges I'm giving all the glory to my God. In his mighty name, I SURVIVED!!!

December 8, 2009

Fantasy in Us

Life is really full of complications. Everyone has its own way of dealing circumstances. All of us has its own point of views on a particular thing. Sometimes it conforms with other's ideas, and sometimes it is simply the opposite. And in this case, arguments arise. We cant forced someone to agree with us, as we cant, ourselves agree with them. But not because our ideas don't conform with one another, someone is wrong. It doesn't mean that you don't agree with someones point of view, they are wrong. This works in vice versa.

Really, life is too complicated. Life is a mystery. Life is a puzzle. Life is unpredictable. Life is to be live as it is. But who makes the life complicated? Is it really a nature of life? Or maybe its just us that makes life complicated? Or maybe its the environment where we live in, that makes it complicated? Whatever it is, the answer lies is in us. We cant answer this question for another person, for he may have different thoughts about it.

As time passes away. As I think that I am growing maturely, somehow I ask myself, I am really growing? or maybe I'm getting immature. There are things that you believe that are right but to others, its not. There are things that you fully understand and to some is like a puzzle. Lately, I realized that their are things I understand better, but it don't conform to someones idea. We argued about it, and to no avail, we ended up unresolved. She sticked to what she believed in, And I stand to mine. I had respected hers, never ask anyone for a back-up. Unlike what she did, she ask some of her friends and ended up working things and thoughts against me. I respected their collective opinions. I respected their collective thoughts. But as I can see, they don't do the same at me. I am still standing to what I thoughts is right. My ideas is never been influenced by other people. This is my stand and I believe in it. If they don't, that's fine, but they don't need to put the blame on me. I really believe and will ever be, to what is right. I am a believer of what is right. For some, they will never believe you, especially if they realized that you are right. Why is that? Why people have that unnecessary pride to admit they are wrong. They will never accept they are and tend to ask symphaty to others. And why there are few people who easily gives that symphaty to that false belief? Accepting that you are wrong is never been a sin ,and it will never be. Humility is what everyone needs to work things out. This also I need as I believe that they need the same.

Another lessons I learned lately is keeping silent. As they say "Silence is often misinterpreted, but never been misquoted". Yes, silence can send false and wrong impression, but on the other hand, it will never be misquoted. It may be misunderstood. And silence has also its disadvantages. If you need to break your silence to shed light on particular matter, it may be helpful. But make sure that you really will shed light.

Life is two faced. Life always leaves us multiple choices and sometimes, or most of the time, it leaves us only two. To be right or to be wrong. We can justify that we are right as we can justify our wrong ideas to be right. Sometimes, this is a world of make believe to some few people. Sometimes you believe too much on false ideas, sometimes you believe too much to yourself. Sometimes you believe too much on your fantasy, justify that's its true. You make fantasy into false reality. Thats the power of yourself. that's the power of false belief.
That is you....
That's us.............