Are you one of us?

October 25, 2011

Please listen to what I'm not saying by Charles C. Finn

I just wanna share this poem to everyone. Maaring ang poem na 'to ay sinulat ni Charles C. Finn para sa akin, para sa atin o malamang ay para sayo. Maaring ang tinutukoy nya rito ay ang kanyang sarili, o mas malamang ay ako at baka lalong ikaw. Sakaling nasa emo mode ka habang nagbabasa nito, di naman bawal ang matuwa, malungkot o mas cool sigurong umiyak. Ilabas ang dapat ilabas, dugo, pawis, luha, laway pati na ang plema para mas feel mo ang drama. happy reading everyone

Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear. For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks, masks that I am afraid to take off, and none of them are me.

I give you the impression that I am secure, that confidence is my name and coolness is my game, that the water's calm and I'm in command, and that I need no one. But don't believe me. Please.

My surface may seen smooth... beneath I dwell in confusion, in fear, in loneliness, but I hide this. I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed. That;s why I frantically create a mood to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated facade to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is my salvation. And I know it.

It's the only thing that can assure me of acceptance and love. I'm afraid that you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh. To laugh would kill me.

So, I play my game, with a facade of assurance without - and a trembling child within. And so my life becomes a front. I only chatter to you in the suave surface tones... I tell you everything that's nothing, and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me. For when I go into my routine do not be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully to what I'm not saying.

I dislike the superficial, phony game I'm playing. I'd like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me. You've got to hold out your hand even when it seems to be the last thing I seem to want or need. Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very feeble wings.

I want you to know how important you are to me, how you can be the creator of the person that is me, if you choose to. But it will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.

The nearer you approach me the blinder I strike back. It is irrational, but despite what the books say about man, I am irrational. I fight the everything I cry out for. Bit I am tole that love is stronger than walls, and therein lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls, but with gentle hands - for a child is very sensitive.

Who I am, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. I am every man and woman you meet.

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha! Tagos na tagos, bro! Kahapon lang ay nagsulat din ako tungkol sa pagpapanggap.