back on track

• Its been a long time that i made my latest entry. I had some troubles and feels like i don't like to blog about it. The last few weeks has been like a roller coaster ride of mixed emotions, I get emo in short. I felt bad because I really don't understand myself why I am feeling those and worse, I've lost my self confidence.

• Lately, as I am reflecting and thinking of my future, I simply wrote down what I would like to achieve. There, I realize that I have so many things that I really wanna do and I really don't know if I could do it in time. And for that, frustrations attack me when I'm not on my best condition.It caught me off guard. I felt pressured and stress comes along. I been thinking it almost everyday and somehow I lost my tract. Too much of thinking of my future that everything seems too blurry. No fix route, no road maps, no visible signs and worse I'm in the middle of the crossroad which is totally stranged from me. It made me shaken. It made me weak.

• But I'm so thankful that i dint lose hope. I have strong faith In God. I just prayed and I kept in mind the famous phrase "this too shall pass" I keep holding on HIM. I trust him so much that i leave my life on him. At the moment, I'm feeling better. Better than before. I realized so many things. Everything really has a purpose.

• For what I been through lately, I realized that I get frustrated and depressed because I allow my self to. I entertained the thought of getting pressured and losing my faith in myself. I had been impatient. I want things to happen in my own time that I forget God knows the perfect timing for everything. I did not wait for HIS time instead, I want things happen in my own. I'm just so lucky that I have friends that had been checking on me from time to time. I had been so lucky for many reasons. I had been so lucky, very lucky for that matter.

• Now I'm back on tract. Still on the crossroads where holding and stepping backward is not an option. I might stay in place, look back but aiming forward. Forward and higher. This is me. A fighter that had learned lessons the hard way. A fighter that sometimes lose in my battles. A loser at times. But always striving to stand to where I get lost and failed, look forward and aim for the high. This is the new me. Better and Stronger.